Communications and Media

Attachment parenting is a term that was coined by William Sears, a pediatrician, and his wife Martha to refer to a highly attentive and response style of caring for a child. This parenting style advocates for both emotional and physical closeness between a parent and the child, a situation Sears calls Baby Bs. Baby Bs stand for bonding, bedsharing, breastfeeding, babywearing, and boundary building.

Advocates for attachment parenting ask parents to carry and hold their babies during the early weeks after birth to foster bonding. Breastfeeding enhances transfer of mothers instinct to the child through physical closeness, attentiveness and hormonal influence. Babywearing relate to carrying the baby close to the parents body with a carrier while bedsharing involves sharing the same bed, all of which present opportunities for closeness (Grolnick, 21). A discipline philosophy called body building entails responding to a childs need as he grows and using appropriate guidance. The Baby Bs promotes trust and intuition that is necessary for responding appropriately to a childs needs.

Attachment styles by parents generally watch the behaviors of a baby and not the calendar or the clock, for signs that the baby is ready to play, eat, or sleep. To understand the signs of a baby, the parent must establish an intimate relationship with the child. This is by devoting enough time and a close watch of the child so that when he or she behaves in certain way, a parent can take the necessary actions. Mothers who practice attachment parenting will not allow the baby to cry without responding to the cries. Responding builds trust and develops effective parent-child communication.

The original purpose of attachment theory was meant to investigate how parent-child interactions influenced the development of a childs self esteem, security and the ability of establishing an intimate relationship in the future (Lamp, 31). A childs attachment system is usually activated when they are emotionally distressed and seek protection from their parents. Children who receive constant emotional support develop a sense of protection and gain a positive attitude in themselves and others. On the other hand, neglected children receiving inconsistent support develop negative attitudes and are more likely to have a poor interpersonal relationship (Bornstein, 25).

The bible advices people to do unto other as you would like them to do to you. However, the platinum rule of communication says that best way of connecting with people and avoiding conflict is to do to them as they want it to be done to them. In other words, if you are communicating with a person who wants direct and immediate answer, there is no need of consuming their time by trying to warm them up. The platinum rule gives four communication styles which focus on two aspects of interpersonal communication.

The first aspect relates to whether the preferred style of communication is closed or open. People who prefer closed communication means that there are private in nature and like to keep their things personal. When such people hold a discussion, they focus on the facts of the situation rather than peoples opinions on the matter (Marc, 17). On the other hand, people who are open in their communication are very free in sharing their feelings and when holding discussions, they are open to other peoples opinion and give their own instead of dwelling only on facts.

The second aspect that determines a communication style is whether an individual likes direct or indirect communication. A person who is direct does not beat about the bush and usually gets to the point. They are authoritative and like to talk more and tell others what to do. When a conflict arises, they can confront directly in a bid of settling the situation. They are opposite of the people who use the indirect style of communication. Indirect people are easy going and like engaging in small talk and discussing the basics of a situation before settling on the facts (Lamp, 38). They ask question and are good listeners and rarely tend to confront people they would rather withdraw from the conversation.

Dalpiaz (2004) came up with three distinct attachment styles that were present in mother to child relationships. First, secure pattern of attachment is leads to bold confidence since the parent is present and responds to the childs emotional and physical requirements. Ambivalent or anxious attachment style is comprised of fear and anxiety when a parent is not available to give physical and emotional support. Third, avoidant attachment style is portrayed when there is an emotional separation between a parent and the child (Dalpiaz, 41). Mature people display the same patterns when forming attachment to romantic partners and this can be similar to attachments they received from their parent when they were young.

Marc (2003) argues that the styles of attachment are based on the beliefs of a person as well as the values of how a person relates to others. Those with positive thoughts about themselves and others have security in their attachment (p.56). Avoidant usually have negative perceptions of other people while ambivalent anxious have a negative self esteem. The attachment bond is essential for the general wellbeing of a person and the forms of relationships they are bound to make in their lifespan.
During infancy, children tend to represent mentally their attachment figures and develop expectations and ideas on relationships from these figures (Reder  Dancan, 71). Reder and Dancan (2003) referred to this as the internal working model of attachment. Mary Ainsworth, an attachment theorist, said that attachment behaviors during infancy was affected by the quality of the caregivers (mother) response to the childs requirements which in turn determined the childs response. Mothers who are quick to respond to a child in a sensitive manner will have a child who grows knowing that they are well taken of (Bornstein, 33). Early experience with a parent develops to a system of thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and behaviors. Moreover, they continue being shaped by environmental changes and they are reflected in the way a child communicates with his peers in the future.

Extensive studies have concluded that attachment is important for adjustment in childhood. For example, children with secure attachment to their parents engage in positive and social behavior than children who are insecure. In addition, they show competency in social interaction and demonstrate positive effects. They are also graded as compliant and more emphatic by their teachers (Lamb, 48). Moreover, studies have revealed that there is a link between patterns of insecure attachment in infancy and aggression and non-compliance during early childhood. Similar to the theory that poor emotional regulation is as a result of insecure attachment, longitudinal research have shown that avoidant attachment leads to hyperactivity, negativity, and non-compliance at 3.5 years, and more naughty behaviors at Grades 1 to 3.

Compared to secure children, those who are avoidant tend to be confrontational and aggressive with their mothers and more hostile, distant and aggressive with their colleges (Grolnick, 39). In addition, disorganized attachment during infancy has been known to cause aggressiveness in later years. Researchers have concluded that children who show disorganized pattern of attachment during infancy grow to become controlling, coercive and domineering as they join preschool and early childhood (Marc, 24). Children who are ambivalently attached are adult oriented, dependent emotionally compared to securely attached children. Around peers, these children are withdrawn, more likely to be criticized and occupy low peer status.

Patterns that correspond to insecure attachment problems are however not related to future behavior problems. Research conclude that disorganized and avoidant attachment does not lead to future aggressive problems. Similarity between insecurity of attachment and future discordant behaviors can be attributed to children who grow up in high risk situations such as family poverty, parental psychopathology, and low social support. Moreover, infant insecurity was found to be highly predictive of future aggressive problems in homes where mothers had chronic depression or engaged in hostile parental practices towards the children. In conclusion, there is a general agreement that insecure attachment can lead to future problems, but cannot be regarded as a conclusive and sufficient result in itself.