Communications and Media

Conflict seems to be ever present in our entire lives. Be it on the football field, at home, in the bathroom or even in the boardroom. The possibility that there will be a divergence impends anytime two or more people convene. The more our collaborative concepts amplify the higher the chances of getting into a clash. Conflict arises from a multitude of potential sources that reflect our differences on the basis of personality, ideologies, race, culture, race, values and even from trivial misapprehension. Conflicts can either be internal or external. Internal conflicts results from jealousy, unrequited love or even an urge for revenge. External conflicts may stern from our environs- famine or earthquake..  According to Peter, conflict is a struggle to overcome a contest from opposing forces. It is simply a disagreement through which the parties involved perceive a threat to their interests, needs and concern. For people who have witnessed conflict firsthand they do not need a dictionary or people to tell them what conflict really is.

There are various types of conflicts between man and God, man and self, man and society, man and nature and man and man conflict. . The kind of conflict I was involved in lately is between me, my best friend and some members of the society. Ann got chased from home and she sought refuge in my house. We once had an argument that did not end up well. She was planning to purchase a  300 D  G sunglass,  400 Gucci purse and a pair of shoes worth 300 dollars. I told her point blank that buying such expensive staff was not one of my priorities and I can buy the same staff elsewhere where they were cheaper. I told her to first pay my debt that she had and maybe instead of her useless staff I can take a vacation.

I asked her where she will get all this money from and she gave me this disappointing story that changed the whole topic.  She walked towards the mall one Friday evening and took away with some cash on realizing no one was watching and went home running only to find her brother who after insisting there was something wrong she decides to give the story on how she stole from a mall. This story leads her to the streets after being chased away and she seeks refuge in my house giving me a different story.

Immediately she finished giving me the story I had no option but to slap her. She was so bitter and a row starts and I decide to call up her brother who after half an hour comes with a group of people who are as mad as hell.

Get the hell out of my house Ann I gave you a chance to turn around your life and this is how you repay me I shout.

She calls me a fool and a traitor for reasons best known to her. The other people stands motionless and others cheers  on angrily  for the fight to continue as it is common to people that if you want to kindle a fire then dare to rub two opposing opinions. The fight continued.

Are you deaf I thought I have told you to go away little freak. I never want to see you I say.
Her brother starts to beat her and she revenges by giving him a punch. She is finally rescued by the police who were called by one of the men in the crowd. We had no time for reconciliation .The crowd and the police led her to where she was supposed to have gone long time ago- prison.

This conflict can be categorized into different sections. We can depict from the story what exactly power is and what it is not. Power according to Rothwell is ability to influence the attainments of goals set by others and self. Power has to be self centered and no one is powerless. In the story we see an element of dominance as far as forms of power are concerned. The uncle dominates in the story because obviously he is older than Ann thus he has power to send him out of his house. The other form of power is empowerment. We continued to fight because the community did not stop us but rather encouraged me to go on and beat her. As no one is powerless, the more I beat her, the more the issue aggravated.

Among the power indicators that are depicted from the row are verbal, nonverbal as well as general.  Though the public neither talked nor prevented the fight, it is clear that their presence had a big impact. Before the uncle could have just decided to send the niece into prison but he did not. Why did he suddenly change and decide to take her to prison He was obviously triggered by people who could not sit and watch Ann go scat free. That was nonverbal indicator.

We exchanged words with Ann leading to the other indicator which is verbal. The general indicator comes in the grounds that no amount of justification Ann made could change the impact created. She stole and at the same time lied to me. Could I have listened to her justification Rothwell goes to say that in any scenario where there is transaction of power, members have to utilize power resources which enables the parties to attain their intended goals. The first power resource is information. Information that Ann gave me about her scandal changed my perception and it led to enmity and physical war. The next resource is expertise. In the crowd there was a man who proposed they ought to call a police as he had knowledge that the war could have led to mob justice. The other resource is punishments and rewards. In this case slaps and the fact that he was taken to jail are the rewards. There was no personal quality as no one encouraged us to stop fighting or even reconcile.

Legitimate authority resource is the final one and Ann had no choice but to obey the police as they led her to prison. Power imbalances clearly encourage verbal and physical aggression. It led us to fight and engage in verbal abuse. The conflict we had was destructive as it did not lead to reconciliation. We managed the conflict through power forcing style. Ann accused me of being a traitor while I called her a freak. It was dominated by ridicule and insults. In the story we see an aspect of communication differences.  This led to break of friendship, anger, disappointment and lack of trust. As much as Ann valued beauty and could spend a fortune to get glasses and purse I could not stand that. The power imbalance in this case was addressed by sending Ann to prison.

Looking back at the whole scenario and if chance led me to the same circumstance I would do things differently. My conflict styles were not effective. First I could have appreciated the fact that we are two different people and when she gave me the story of buying luxuries, I could have just given her my opinion without criticizing her. Though it did hurt, I should have been more considerate when she gave me the story of how she stole from a mall on the grounds she had finally trusted me with that disappointing information. The tit for tat strategy did not bear any fruits for as much as she was hurt I was hurt and distraught.

The best principle I could have adopted is principle negotiation where I separate people from the issue after I have talked to her to surrender herself to authorities, though that could have been quite difficult. Finally I should have controlled my anger by listening to her nondefensively without acting and try to calm down as I let her know exactly my opinion in the whole issue and what I thought was the best thing to do. Though conflicts have an emotional component, that tends to cause destruction, some people dispute that conflicts are good for team building. People should adopt healthy ways to solve their differences without letting prejudice, self pride and anger take center stage.